Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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