Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it