Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago

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(585): View more from New York

Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Because she offered to bring a keg.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.

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(801): View more from Utah

It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants

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