I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
only if we run a train.
done.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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