Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.

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  (209): I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans. http://tfl.nu/8x3v
  Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (1229)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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  (864): sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him http://tfl.nu/vh2n
  Replies (66) Good night (2581) Bad night (4240)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

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  (416): She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic. http://tfl.nu/pwae
  Replies (10) Good night (3415) Bad night (1503)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.

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  (513): You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm. http://tfl.nu/60sn
  Replies (10) Good night (4456) Bad night (915)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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  (804): The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be." http://tfl.nu/zz4e
  Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (3070)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.

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  (406): I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way. http://tfl.nu/wnl7
  Replies (11) Good night (561) Bad night (1280)
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  (707): View more from California

  Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.

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  (707): Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish. http://tfl.nu/itg6
  Replies (4) Good night (1622) Bad night (421)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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  (305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8
  Replies (11) Good night (415) Bad night (1706)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.

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  (709): I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper. http://tfl.nu/1tdu
  Replies (6) Good night (476) Bad night (850)
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  (310): View more from California

  Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.

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  (310): Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch. http://tfl.nu/am85
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (323)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately

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  (701): I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately http://tfl.nu/hiyd
  Replies (2) Good night (667) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles

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  (507): So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles http://tfl.nu/kflh
  Replies (6) Good night (835) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.

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  (218): Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked. http://tfl.nu/0yg0
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD

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  (604): All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD http://tfl.nu/xdt2
  Replies (5) Good night (490) Bad night (248)

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