The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.