Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
