i don't like sucking hair
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
40s are totally the cure
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
