i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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