if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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