I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
