is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
