I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
