I want to have your abortion
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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