I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Randomize
