her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He shit in the fireplace
I love you.
Bad choice
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