he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
