kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
