He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
