Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
