I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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