Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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