So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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