i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
