fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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