AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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