Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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