help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize