Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
