i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
