Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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