singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
