i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
