Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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