I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize