Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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