Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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