had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
