another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
