I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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