So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize