I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
