I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
