should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize