So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The beer is more important than you right now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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