Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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