I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
