whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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