need another drink. this is the easiest way
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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