It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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