I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he was CRYING into my vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
