I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize