I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
