yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
