Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
