Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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