The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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