Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
