can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
