Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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