you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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