The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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