i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
