Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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