did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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