Its about making memories worth repressing
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
