I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How external is "for external use only"?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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