Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
