I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
