So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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